


what's in a name?

by MegTheMighty



Series: 5+1 Names [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: 5+1, Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff, Marriage, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Secret Relationship, Young Royai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegTheMighty/pseuds/MegTheMighty
Summary: After all their years together, trivial things like first names shouldn't mean much to Lieutenant Hawkeye and Colonel Mustang. That doesn't mean she doesn't savor what saying his means to their relationship.5 times Riza gets to call him Roy, and 1 time she calls him something else.
Relationships: Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang
Series: 5+1 Names [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1943290
Comments: 20
Kudos: 93





	1. Friends

**1903**

Riza noticed Roy was trailing a bit behind her, as if he was trying to make their walk last as long as possible. She understood why; she didn’t want him to go either. Still, his train would leave at the same time whether or not he dragged his feet on the way to the station. 

“Are you nervous?” she asked, trying to make any form of conversation.

“I guess so, but not more than when I came here.” He didn’t quite look her in the eye, and Riza studied him as she usually did.

“Then what’s wrong?” 

He sighed, looking out on the fields that dominated the land outside of town. “Well your father made it pretty clear he doesn’t want to see me again. I just don’t want this to be the end.”

She wasn’t sure what to say. It wasn’t clear whether he meant the end of his alchemy training, the end of his time in the countryside, or maybe the end of his own childhood. The earnest look in his eyes when he finally met hers was surprising. Could he mean the end of _them_?

There wasn’t really a “them” to speak of. Riza had a silly crush that she hoped would wear off once he was gone. And the times when he would say she looked beautiful or that he had never met anyone like her back in Central, she suspected he was just trying to make her squirm out of embarrassment. At least that’s what she told herself. 

“Maybe he’ll change his mind eventually. You still have at least two years before you would make your final decision and take the State Alchemist examination,” she reminded him. 

Roy sensed her deflection away from what he really meant, but he didn’t mind too much. She had every right to ignore his quiet compliments, especially if she looked at him as only a friend. He was also the one that was leaving, choosing to join the military instead of staying with the Hawkeyes any longer. Riza hadn’t said anything about his choice, maintaining her usual quiet respect. He couldn’t help but wonder how much she disapproved.

“You’ll still write to me, won’t you?” he asked.

“Of course, I already promised.”

“Good. Because I doubt I’ll make many good friends there.”

Riza scoffed. “You won’t if you’re thinking like that. At least try to be nice. Who knows, maybe you’ll become best friends with the first person you meet.”

“I’d still rather talk to you, even if you’re just telling me about your classwork. You can make anything boring sound fun,” he insisted. He meant it as a compliment but Riza scrunched her face up in annoyance.

“I have more to talk about than just school,” she defended. “I could tell you about my father too, so you’ll know if he’s still mad at you.”

“Really?”

“Sure, and if he ever mentions his research, I could tell you about that too.” Roy raised an eyebrow at her.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” he said carefully. “Alchemists are so secretive about their research.”

She shrugged. “Still, I promise if he says anything I’ll let you know. It could be important if you ever come back and want to learn more.”

“I’m definitely coming back, Riza,” he said resolutely. “I’ll have to if I want a chance at becoming a State Alchemist.”

She nodded, slowing her pace slightly as the train station entered her line of sight. “It will be a long two years without you. When you come back, you’ll be a real officer. We’ll have to call you Mr. Mustang again, or maybe Major once you pass the exam.”

Roy shook his head fondly. “I’ll always be Roy to you, even if I became the Fuhrer.”

“Good,” Riza said, returning his smile. She still had to look up to see him since her long-anticipated growth spurt hadn’t quite hit yet. She wondered how different things would be the next time they saw each other; he would be a man, not a slightly scrawny seventeen year old. She would almost be an adult as well.

Roy swallowed thickly. “I guess I should go then.”

Riza nodded, handing him the smaller bag she had carried for him. His hands were full, so he set down his suitcase and the bag to bend down and pull her into a hug. She readily returned it, wrapping her arms around his back. Roy started to straighten again, but she quickly pecked his cheek before he was completely out of reach. They shared another warm smile until a loud whistle blew from behind them. 

“Goodbye, Riza,” he said softly. Roy gathered his things to rush toward the platform, not wanting to be late. He turned around again to wave.

Neither of them knew that her letters would eventually stop, and that he wouldn’t learn why until he returned to discover the secrets of flame alchemy. Neither of them knew she wouldn’t keep her promise about her father’s research until he was dead. Neither of them knew that he wouldn’t just be Roy to her for much longer, and she wouldn’t be Riza either. 

“Bye Roy!” she called after him one last time. “Good luck!”

When the train pulled away, she kept waving, just in case he was looking back at her. Riza knew he was, because whether or not they were just friends, Roy was always looking. She decided not to be embarrassed for once, figuring she could earnestly believe everything he told her now—that she was beautiful, that she was special to him, that he would always be Roy.


	2. Strangers

**1908**

Major Mustang kept finding himself wandering around her unit’s encampment. Hawkeye avoided him well enough, but at first she was angry that he would seek her out, intentionally or not. When she saw him again, she immediately looked away. Hawkeye started wondering if she should have never approached him out on the battlefield in the first place—maybe if they never spoke, the feeling of guilt and dread wouldn’t have buried so far into her chest. She knew that was only wishful thinking, because the results of his actions were clear across the Ishvalan landscape either way. 

Anger wasn’t a familiar feeling to her. After years alone with her father, Hawkeye was much more used to swallowing her emotions and pretending everything was fine. Somehow his betrayal hurt more than anything else, but she couldn’t deny that she played a major role in everything that happened to her. She was the one that asked her father about his alchemy research, she was the one that gave it away so willingly, and she was the one that was about to go murder more people from the safety of a distant tower.

“Everything alright, Hawkeye?”

She turned to see her “roommate” staring at her curiously. Simmons graduated from the academy a few years prior and wasn’t even assigned to the same sector as Hawkeye, but she was one of the only other women around so they had to share a tent.

“Yeah, I’m about to take my shift a little early.”

“Suit yourself,” she replied. “If I were you, I would enjoy all the time you have to rest that you can.”

Hawkeye didn’t reply, simply grabbing her weapons and leaving. 

_There’s no way possible to enjoy any moment in this hell hole,_ she thought. _And even if I wanted to, it’s impossible to rest._

Some other soldiers seemed to pretend that they were completely different people on and off duty. They would fire their guns blindly across the landscape at an invisible enemy, then go back and sit around a fire like old friends when it was time to eat, as if they weren’t in the middle of a war. As if they weren’t murderers. Maybe some of them weren’t if they were in the infantry, where it was the most difficult to get a good shot.

She _knew_ she killed countless people already, because she never missed. 

“Hawkeye?”

“Sir,” she said plainly, not turning around.

“I’m sorry if you’re in a hurry,” he replied. “I only wanted a moment.”

She wanted to get angry again and tell him to go back to wherever the State Alchemist quarters were, but she looked down at the rifle in her hands and remembered any scorn he deserved would end up turned back toward her and doubled in her mind.

“Actually, I’m not. I was leaving early.”

Major Mustang walked from behind her to join at her side. He stayed a few steps away and his posture was stiff, but it felt like a more equal position.

“I was summoned to a meeting early this morning with a few generals. Fuhrer Bradley is going to declare the end of the war soon. Apparently there’s not much more fighting to be done now,” he told her.

“That makes sense,” she said. “There’s hardly any more damage we could possibly do.”

She could see him swallowed thickly and cast his eyes downward. “I just thought you should know. We’ll all be going home soon.”

Hawkeye suddenly realized that Mustang didn’t know she didn’t have a home to return to. When she left for the military academy, one of the local farmers bought the house to use the land around it. The only place she could possibly go once the war was over would be wherever the military sent her. It could be the unforgiving Fort Briggs, or maybe back into the fray of battle in Pendleton where Amestris was in a fire fight with Creta. She only prayed that she wouldn’t be one of the soldiers assigned to occupy Ishval.

“Are you returning to Central then?” she asked. Hawkeye recalled that he was stationed there just after passing the State Alchemist exam. It might have been years ago, but it was the last time they actively stayed in touch. She also remembered he liked being closer to his family and familiar territory. That might not be true anymore, because he was essentially a stranger now.

“I’m accepting a commission at Eastern Command. General Grumman requested that I report to him as soon as we’re officially relieved of our duties here.”

“I see,” she said. Hawkeye turned away again and started toward her post. “Good luck then.”

“I was wondering if you knew where you would be going,” he said quickly.

She stopped. “I haven’t been given any orders yet.”

“But would you follow those orders when they come?” he asked.

Her immediate answer should have been “of course, sir” or “to the best of my ability” but Hawkeye knew she could at least be honest with him. She didn’t want to follow the orders of anyone like Fuhrer Bradley and the men who started the Ishvalan Extermination.

“I’m not sure.”

He nodded, reaching a hand up to brush his unruly hair out of his eyes. “No one would blame you for leaving. I know plenty of soldiers planning to do just that the moment they can.”

“I think we both know retiring and pretending all this never happened isn’t an option.”

“No, it isn’t for me,” he agreed. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do. You can still always call me if you need assistance.”

Hawkeye looked at him and tried to decide if he was actually saying what she thought he was. If there was anyone in the world who understood what she felt and what she needed to do, it was him. But Major Mustang was a stranger that wore her friend’s face, and Hawkeye didn’t think she was stupid enough to trust him again, much less commit to following his orders.

“I don’t intend to let anything like this happen again,” he continued. “I’d sooner die than end up like those generals sending young people off to die and kill.”

There it was. The spark that only belonged to him. She recognized it immediately in the way he looked up in absolute conviction and spoke firmly and unapologetically. Maybe it was possible Roy Mustang, her friend, wasn’t completely gone.

“I should be going, sir,” she said. “But it was nice seeing you, Roy.”

Her last sentence slipped out without a thought, and she didn’t turn back to see his reaction even after she made it so far away from him. It was inappropriate to be so familiar with a superior officer, but so was even discussing disobeying orders. Hawkeye let herself think, even for a moment, the stranger in the distance might be someone she could trust.


	3. Partners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place at the same time as chapter 4, Elizabeth, from "your name on my lips" and this is actually the first thing I wrote for this fic because I wanted to show Riza's perspective during that conversation. It might be a slightly helpful to go back and reread from Roy's perspective, just to catch all the parallel things they were thinking! Enjoy!

**1912**

Hawkeye waited patiently by the phone. The Colonel had to step away for a moment, fetching some of the case files for the suspect they were tracking. Yet another former State Alchemist was on the run, causing chaos around Eastern Command with property damage and treasonous threats. They both understood why; it would be so easy for them to give in to the anger from the military’s actions in Ishval. That’s why they were trying to take him into custody outside of the military’s jurisdiction, so he wouldn’t be so severely punished.

“You didn’t hang up on me, did you?”

“Of course not, but I was wondering what was taking you so long. You were gone for a while,” she replied. She made her voice overly sweet, the way Madame Christmas would teach the girls to talk to men.

“Sometimes things taking a while are good because they last longer,” he joked. “Ending things too quickly is just disappointing, isn’t it?”

“I’m not sure you would know much about lasting long,” she quipped. If he was going to make jokes, so would she. She also knew the office probably wasn’t completely empty, so at least someone would be getting a laugh out of the way she knew his face fell at her words.

They went back and forth like that for a bit, simply waiting for anything to happen. Hawkeye was still scanning the streets as far as she could see. Havoc was stationed further down the road with his radio, but he hadn’t checked in with her other than for his hourly reports. It didn’t seem like they would have any luck, so she figured they should wrap things up. 

Mustang was still going on and on, bringing up moments from their past and flirting shamelessly. She couldn’t help but smile at his antics. It was obvious how much he enjoyed getting to do this, sometimes too obvious for her comfort. Even so, Hawkeye couldn’t deny that she enjoyed it too—imagining that he would be taking her to dinner as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Then next time I’ll take you to a nice restaurant. The best places are all in Central, but I can make do here.”

“I guess that’ll have to do,” she continued. Hawkeye looked out on the horizon of East City. It may not be as big or exciting as Central, but it was still a beautiful place. The sun was starting to set and create bright patterns of color across the sky. It would be the perfect setting for a romantic stroll. “Maybe afterward we could go on a long walk, just the two of us.”

“I’d prefer to go dancing,” he countered. 

She had to roll her eyes at that. “You just like to show off.”

“Can you really fault me for wanting to show off such a beautiful woman?”

“Sometimes you flirt too much for your own good, Roy,” she laughed. 

It wasn’t as hard to accept compliments like that anymore, as it had been when she was a teenager, but she still tended to deflect them. Hawkeye was perfectly satisfied with her appearance, but it didn’t have a large role in her life. Unwanted attention from men that it drew was an annoyance that she could live with. However, the Colonel’s attention wasn’t necessarily unwanted so much as it was dangerous. Any indication of an inappropriate relationship could ruin them both. 

When she was Elizabeth, they could trade compliments and flirt as much as they wanted, but Hawkeye couldn’t let herself take it personally. He was calling Elizabeth beautiful, not her, and though they shared the same face, he didn’t speak to them the same way. He wouldn’t call his subordinate beautiful, he would say that she was a good soldier or that her marksmanship was unmatched. She couldn’t let herself forget that the moment they saw each other, she would be Lieutenant Hawkeye again.

It took her another moment to realize the Colonel never responded. “Are you still there?” she asked, trying not to let any worry seep into her voice.

“Yes, sorry. I was just distracted.” His tone had changed slightly, but she knew he would let her know if there was an urgent issue. 

“You seem to be distracted a lot. It’s amazing you get any work done.”

“You sound like someone else I know,” he said, softer than before. 

“Well maybe I have a lot in common with this person. Maybe even more than you think.” She felt her lips pull into a smirk, but she realized they were getting dangerously close to crossing a line. If she was going to act like Lieutenant Hawkeye, she shouldn’t keep flirting like Elizabeth. She was only going to end up hurting herself by keeping up the charade.

Hawkeye swallowed thickly and glanced down at her watch. “I should probably let you get back to work. It’s a pretty slow day here, Jaqueline and I haven't had anything to do.” 

“I’ll let you go then. Don’t forget to tell Kate I say hello,” he replied. She looked over at the radio dials and recalled Fuery’s frequency. She would let him and Havoc know that they were calling the mission off for the day.

“I will. I’ll talk to you later, Roy,” she said.

He said his own goodbye and ended the call, leaving her to wrap things up in the field. With Havoc and Fuery on their way home, she took one last long look out at the city. It really was a beautiful view. She thought maybe a nice long walk was in order, even if it wasn’t the romantic one she pictured earlier. Hawkeye didn’t usually indulge in lighthearted outings like that, but she figured she could be Elizabeth for a little bit longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you for reading and please feel free to let me know what you think!
> 
> As a sappy side note, I just wanted to say that starting to write and share my fics has made me feel so much less lonely this year. Things are still hard, but I'm very grateful to be part of this community and take a break from real life a bit <3 thank you all for being so supportive!


	4. Lovers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place right after the end of Chapter 6, Riza, in your name on my lips! If you don't want to go back and reread, essentially Roy just found out he was going to become the Fuhrer and was finally able to embrace Riza and call her by her name. From here on out everything is post canon, which means I get to play with my future headcanons :) I hope you enjoy this chapter!

**1920**

Riza started to pull away slightly, but felt him grip her even tighter as if they hadn’t seen each other in a whole lifetime. In truth, they hadn’t been apart for more than two days at a time in almost five years. She let out a breath of relief and felt all the tension that had been built up finally released. He loosened his grip slightly so that she could take a step back but his hands still held her arms lightly.

Ever since Grumman had announced his impending retirement, they had spent every moment working to make General Mustang his replacement. No, she realized—he wasn’t General Mustang, he really would be the Fuhrer. The longest period of their lives, waiting for this day to come, was finally over.

“Maybe we should go back to my office,” he finally suggested. “I could do with a little more privacy than this hallway.”

“Right,” she agreed, following close behind him. 

Riza stole a glance back toward the door to Grumman’s office, knowing he was probably celebrating the moment himself. Her grandfather hadn’t been very subtle about his hopes for her future, though as hard as he tried, he was never able to convince her to retire. Until now, she supposed. The letter of resignation was still in her pocket, ready to be handed in now that they were sure. 

They made it back to Mustang’s office quickly, without running into anyone else on the way. It was pretty late; she guessed that Grumman had intentionally summoned Mustang at the end of the day and planned to announce his successor publicly the next morning. It would be easier to deal with General Armstrong’s protests in the morning if the official paperwork was already signed and other officers were able to express their support first; Central City didn’t need another military coup after all. 

The future Fuhrer collapsed toward his desk, only his hands holding him up. The adrenaline from hearing the news straight from Grumman’s mouth was beginning to clear so he could finally think. As long as the years of waiting had been, now it felt as though everything was happening so quickly.

“What now?” he asked.

“Now the real work begins,” Riza answered in a teasing tone. That drew a smile out of his lips. “Everything we’ve done is to get here, but that doesn’t mean it’s over.”

“I guess so. Grumman made some progress but there’s still so much to do. But I almost can’t believe…” His words died off as he looked up at her.

“What is it?” 

“It’s just hard to believe it’s finally happening.”

“I know,” she nodded along. “But it’s true, you did it.”

“We did it,” he insisted. “And Riza,” he stood again, this time taking her hands. “Please don’t make me wait. After all this time, I can’t. Please don’t stop me from using your name or telling you I love-”

“I’m not stopping you from anything,” she said softly. “Well I suppose I did just now, but that’s only because I need to give you this first.”

She reached into her uniform and pulled out the envelope, handing it over to him. 

“You can read it, but ultimately it needs to go to the personnel and veteran’s offices. I would like to get my retirement pension on time.”

He looked down at it, entranced. Just like that, she wasn’t an officer of the Amestrian military. Mustang shouldn’t have been surprised since they had discussed this outcome before, but holding the proof in his hands was simply indescribable. He blinked once, and looked back up at her as he set the envelope on his desk. What was he doing holding a piece of paper in his hands as proof when the real thing was right in front of him?

Riza looked at him curiously as all those thoughts ran through his mind, before he leaned forward again to capture her in another embrace. It didn’t quite feel natural yet, as much as they both had been anticipating the contact. Riza slowly relaxed into him, letting her hands run over his back and her forehead rest against his. 

“I’m so proud of you,” she whispered. “I don’t say it enough, but I am.”

He pulled back slightly, obviously surprised. “I’m still not sure I deserve any of this, but thank you.” 

He brushed her hair away from her face. “You mean more to me than anything, I think I can admit that now. I always knew you wouldn’t let me think that way because our mission has to come first, but I’m tired of pretending.”

Her eyes widened. “I hope you know I felt that way too. There were so many times when it would have been so easy to give in. You were the only thing keeping me strong, even when you were the thing making me weak,” she admitted.

He could only let out a soft gasp in response to her confession. “You’re so beautiful.”

“You’re quite handsome too, sir.”

He breathed out a soft laugh. “Please don’t call me that, I’m not your superior anymore.”

“Technically, you’re everyone’s superior now,” she joked. “But I guess old habits die hard, huh? It might take a while to adjust to all the changes.”

“Maybe,” he agreed. “But if I still feel like this every time I get to touch you, that’s fine by me. I’ll never get used to it, and I never want to.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked. Riza assumed eventually their lives would settle enough so that they could feel like any other couple.

“Because I feel so happy right now,” he explained. She blushed slightly at his words, knowing it was probably silly to do. She was a thirty year old woman, not a teenager. Still, letting herself feel something so real after so long was almost overwhelming.

“I think we should probably leave for the night,” she said. “You’ll have a very long day tomorrow.”

“You’re right. I’ll be challenged to a duel by Armstrong and you’ll be sleeping in without any work to do,” he smiled. 

“Hayate will make sure I’m up, and I’ll call you in the morning. Just remember you’re meant to be here. Don’t start doubting yourself now.” 

He nodded at her words. She always knew exactly what he needed to hear. They approached the door, ready to go their separate ways one last time. They still had to maintain some sort of proper image before the announcement.

“I love you,” he whispered before she could open the door.

“I love you too, Roy.”

His face softened even more at his name. For once, there were no pretenses or personas, no worries about the future anymore. Finally, even as he might feel the weight of the world on his shoulders as everyone called him the Fuhrer, he could just be Roy again. For her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this one! I wanted to see them be soft with each other so much, because they are in LOVE and can finally say that. Feel free to let me know what you think with a comment, I'm always so grateful to hear feedback :) I'm a little sad my first ever series is going to be completely done soon, but I'm excited to share the final two chapters!


	5. Spouses

**1921**

Riza woke up quickly as soon as she heard his breath quicken. Over the past year, she had become even more attuned to him, more than she ever thought possible. It hadn’t happened the first few times they had shared a bed, but eventually Roy had a nightmare. Neither was new to the experience, but they had never been with each other before when it happened. 

Riza knew how to handle her own nightmares; she had years of practice after all. She was often still while she slept, and when she woke up she would feel paralyzed. As someone who thrived on being able to act, it was terrible to be frozen in bed trying to convince herself she was safe. It reminded her of being in Ishval, needing to sit completely still for hours on end to conceal her position as a sniper. Eventually, it also reminded her of being stuck in Pride’s grasp, unable to move.

Riza had learned to regain control of her breathing and slowly try to move anything, even just a finger or a toe. That would progress until she could stand and walk around to clear her mind. It had gotten easier when she and Roy were finally able to be together; he would cling to her while they slept, so if she ever woke up in a cold sweat she would immediately feel his embrace and know he was there. Roy also tended to wake up with her if he could feel her pounding heart or unstable breathing.

His nightmares were different, though. They would start out similar to hers, whether they were about Ishval, or the Homunculi, or the Promised Day. He would gasp and shake like her, but any provocation would have him thrashing around. Roy would fight to wake up rather than lie still and wait for it to be over. He had never come up with a way to recover quickly, but he survived just fine since he had always slept alone before. 

The first time, soon after he was named the next Fuhrer and Riza retired, he had nearly hit her. She woke up to his pained muttering and desperate breathing and tried to wake him. She called his name and gently shook his shoulder, but the contact had only made things worse. His arm had shot straight toward her in defense and she barely dodged it. Riza had calmly backed away, waiting until he regained his consciousness. He felt so guilty afterward that he wanted to leave and sleep on the couch, as far away as possible. She simply crawled back into bed next to him and held him for the rest of the night.

In the year since, Riza learned to handle his nightmares along with hers. Her eyes would snap open when she sensed the change in him, immediately realizing what was happening. She slowly untangled herself from him, knowing if he hurt her in any way he would only blame himself, especially now that her pregnant belly was visibly swollen. Her feet hit the floor and took her toward the foot of the bed.

“No, no,” he repeated. “Please no.”

Riza always felt his words strike straight through her heart. Sometimes he would call for Hughes, but most often it was her. She hated that the only thing she could do for Roy was let him struggle through his nightmares until he woke up, but he refused to let her do anything else.

“Roy,” she said softly. There were a few times when she was able to pull him away from his sleep before it got too bad, simply by calling his name.

“Roy,” she repeated firmly. 

It didn’t seem to have any effect as he was lost in his own mind. Roy lurched to the side and she saw his knuckles go white from gripping the pillow so hard, which had replaced her body in his hands only moments before. His chest heaved as he choked out more unintelligible words. Riza knew he would wake up soon as his whole body strained against his nightmare, but that didn’t make it any easier. Her heart sank even more.

“Roy!”

There was still no response, only more pleas falling out of his mouth and limbs thrashing against their sheets. This was worse than it usually got, she realized. The worst time had been when Riza hadn’t slipped away fast enough and he accidentally grabbed her wrist, almost straining it with his strong grip. Roy hardly slept the following week, his vigilant fear of seriously hurting her keeping him awake. But that had been so early on, they both hoped things would only get better.

“Colonel Mustang!” she finally cried. Riza didn’t know why, but she thought that might be the one thing to wake him.

Roy shot up, awake but confused. He took a moment until he was able to focus on his wife standing at the foot of their bed, her eyes full of concern. He slumped back slightly as he regained his senses and realized they were both safe. 

Riza quickly returned to his side as she always did. Every time this happened, she would slip back into his arms where she had been before, whispering words of affection and reassurance. She ran her fingers through her husband’s dark hair and along his jaw to calm his mind. He was still stiff, and refused to look her in the eyes. Usually, he would immediately respond to her ministrations, but something was holding him back.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly. “What was it?”

“It’s not the nightmare. The nightmare was bad, but that’s not…”

Riza waited for him to find the right words.

“What the hell is so wrong with me?” he finally asked. Riza’s eyes widened. “What the hell is so wrong with me that I can’t even wake up when my wife calls my name?”

“Roy-”

“You had to call me by a title I haven’t had in over five years!”

“It’s not your fault that nightmares can be so bad,” she explained. “You know how I am sometimes, it’s never easy.”

“You don’t try to kill me in your sleep like I do,” he muttered. She might have thought his tone was dark and biting, but she knew it was just defeated.

“I know you would never hurt me. That’s why I know you’re not yourself when you get them, so you shouldn’t blame yourself for what happens.”

He sighed and seemed to accept her words. His body relaxed slightly and Riza could tell he was exhausted. His eyes were fluttering closed as she let her hands drift to his chest. 

“And Roy?” she called gently, intentionally stressing her husband’s name. He instantly turned toward her in response, his eyes searching hers to see what she needed. Riza gave him a meaningful smile. “See? You always answer when I call your name.”

He gave her a small smile in return as his eyes shined. She leaned up to press a kiss into his forehead. “I love you, now go back to sleep.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter :) I was able to inject my own future headcanons a bit (which might eventually turn into a fic of their own) so let me know what you think! I like imagining Roy and Riza having a happy ending and being able to be together with a few kids maybe, but obviously not everything is perfect. It's definitely important to me to remember their long-lasting struggles, but still know that they're okay because they're together :')
> 
> Thank you all for reading, and especially thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos! You're all so lovely <3


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